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Estrangement...My Car is moving forward into an unknown area. 🚗 When You’re the Mom in the Passenger Seat of Estrangement I never imagined I’d be that mom. The one who doesn’t get the call on her daughter’s birthday.The one who watches holidays come and go with an ache that no candle or casserole can fix.The one who smiles politely when others share family updates, silently holding back tears. I’m estranged from one of our adult daughters. And let me tell you, it’s the kind of heartbreak that shows up quietly and stays loudly. People often say, “Just look back on the good times.” But I can’t.I don’t look at photos of the happier times—because they’re not happy anymore.They’re reminders of what’s been lost. And the effect they have on me isn’t comforting—it’s paralyzing. They keep me from moving forward.What once brought joy now reopens the wound, and I’ve learned the hard way that sometimes protecting your heart means not looking back. Estrangement, I’ve learned, is a two-way street. But that doesn’t mean both people are driving with the same intention. One may be cruising in “self-care mode,”while the other suddenly realizes: 💭 “I don’t recognize any of the scenery anymore.” I’m not wondering if it’s too late to turn back—because I wouldn’t even know which way to go.I’ve somehow ended up in a strange new place, and I don’t know which direction is north. 💭 Her Car: “I Need Time to Heal” Our daughter told us she needed space. That she was focusing on herself and needed time to heal. And as her mother—the one who gave her life, sang lullabies, and packed school lunches for what felt like two decades straight—I wanted to honor that. I still do. I respect healing.I respect boundaries.I even respect distance when it’s handled with grace. But… ⏳ My Car: “Time Is a Resource I Can’t Afford to Waste” I’m healing too.I’m doing the work, facing the pain, sitting with my grief, and letting go of the illusion that love alone always keeps people close. But here’s what I’ve come to understand in this painful process:Time is not on an infinite loop. As much as I wish we could freeze-frame certain moments or rewind to simpler ones, I know this life moves forward—with or without repair. And while she’s choosing distance as her form of healing, I’ve had to choose boundaries of my own—the kind that protect my peace and honor the mother I still am, even when I’m not actively mothering her. 🚧 We Both Think We’re Doing What’s Right That’s the tangled web of estrangement:Everyone thinks they’re the one being reasonable. She believes she’s taking the high road by stepping away.I believe I’m walking in wisdom by not chasing someone who’s already decided to leave. Neither of us is the villain in our own story.But healing, I’ve learned, doesn’t mean silence.And space, without communication, feels a lot more like punishment than progress. 🛞 I’m Still Moving—Even If She’s Not in the Car I miss her. Of course I do.There are days I’d give anything just to hear her voice or share a cup of coffee and talk about life, dogs, or shoes—whatever. Anything but this silence. But I can’t stay parked at the “maybe someday” sign forever. I’ve got a life to live, a heart to mend, and other people who still need me fully present—my husband, my son, our other daughter, and yes, even my dogs. So I drive on. Sometimes through tears.Sometimes with hope.Always with love in the rearview mirror—and just enough grace to keep going. 🕊️ If You’re a Mom Like Me… You’re not alone. Estrangement from a child feels unnatural. It feels wrong.It feels like a wound that never totally scabs over. But healing doesn’t wait for reconciliation.Sometimes, healing begins with acceptance that it may never come. And if your child ever comes back? Let it be on your terms, too.Let it be real, and mutual, and respectful. Until then—keep going. 💬 Let’s Talk Have you experienced estrangement from an adult child?Drop a comment or message. Your story matters, and you don’t have to carry this alone. #StrangelyEstranged #EstrangedMother #HealingJourney #AdultChildEstrangement #MothersWhoGrieve #MentalHealthMatters #ParentingThroughEstrangement #GriefHealing #LettingGoWithLove #Estrangement #EstrangementWithAdultChild

Estrangement will never stop a really cute T-Shirt with a Sunflower Let’s be honest: estrangement  isn’t just a word—it’s a season.A heavy, quiet, confusing season that sneaks into everything.And lately? It's been the backdrop of my life, louder than my dog Big when Amazon dares to approach the porch. There have been days I truly didn’t think I was going to make it.Days when it felt like the entire foundation of my world was about to give way.And on those days, the pain of estrangement from my adult daughter pressed on my chest like an elephant in heels—glamorous but crushing. Panic attacks.Dizzy spells.Seizures.The full list of “I-didn’t-sign-up-for-this” symptoms. But I’m not made of glass.I’m made of Vibranium .The same stuff Captain America’s shield is made of—minus the spandex and with a lot more dry shampoo and caffeine. ✨ Enter: ADA Paws Pass by Crystal.  ✨Our mission? To raise awareness for those with invisible disabilities and give service dogs (and their humans) the recognition, access, and style they deserve. We are so close to full launch, and it’s starting to feel real.Our brand-new tees have landed—and honey, they’re EVERYTHING. Soft. Strong. Covered in purpose. Stamped with the Sunflower Symbol to spread awareness for invisible disabilities and service dog access. And here’s the beautiful part about sunflowers—During the day, they track the sun, soaking in every bit of warmth and energy it gives.At night, they droop. Not because they’re weak, but because they’re wise. They conserve energy. They rest—so they can rise again. That’s exactly what it means to live with an invisible disability. Some days we shine, some days we droop—but we’re always growing. Always facing the light when we can.Still here. Still beautiful. Still pushing forward. These shirts say:“I’ve been through it, but I still showed up.” And for those incredible people who support us?The shirts say:“I’m with them. I get it. I care. I’ll help. I’ll show up.” PLUS—big news— dog fashion  is coming soon! Because service dogs and emotional support animals always deserve to look their best too. Big, my 105-pound Service Dog CEO, demands nothing less. 🐾👔 You can check out our site at www.pawspassada.com .It’s still under construction — inventory isn’t loaded yet, and I’m still adding info and links.But if you want to pre-order, just send me a DM! This Monday, I get to gift some of these tees to a class of amazing children—because their teacher just happens to be my BFF from high school .Yes, the same one who helped me survive 80s fashion.(We made it through jelly shoes, perms, shoulder pads, and electric blue eyeliner—we are unstoppable.) And, oh yeah—I'm getting ready for Italy .I may be weepy, wobbly, and worn out, but I’m still packing my bags and preparing to sing.Life’s not waiting, and neither am I. Some days, I crawl.Some days, I strut.Most days, I hobble forward in jeans that fit , a Sunflower shirt , a smile held together by faith and caffeine, and a 105-pound Service Dog CEO named Big. If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re inching your way through a fog—know this:You’re not alone.One inch at a time is still forward.Slow and steady is still progress.You’re still here—and that’s everything. With sass, soul, and a suitcase full of hope, Crystal & Big 🐾 Founder of ADA Paws Pass | Warrior Queen | Vibranium-Wrapped | Still Crawling, Still Hoping, Still Fabulous Please Remember that you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you! #EstrangementRecovery #InvisibleDisabilityAwareness #SunflowerStrong #ADAPawsPass #ServiceDogLife #EmotionalSupportAnimals #MentalHealthMatters #SurvivorSpirit #OneDayAtATime #MadeOfVibranium #StillStanding #DogFashionMatters #SassyAndStrong #CrystalAndBig #GriefAndGrace #EstrangedButEmpowered #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace #MyComebackStory #DisabledNotDefeated #FromHeartbreakToHealing #estrangement #estrangementwithadultchild

Here I am, in the background at the Mrs. Tennessee America 2025. The Winner is in the front. There I am not being noticed. I am still beautiful. Guess what?? I noticed! There are chapters in life I never imagined I’d have to write. Some involve heartbreak, betrayal, or loss. But one of the hardest — and least talked about — has been estrangement. It’s the quiet absence that screams in the middle of life’s chaos. It’s the text that never comes, the chair that stays empty, the milestones that pass without a phone call. And when life gets messy — not because I’m falling apart, but because I’m stretching, growing, and stepping into new things — that estrangement feels even heavier. What Happens When They Don’t Show Up? I just finished competing in the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant — something that took courage, vulnerability, and so much heart. It was an experience that left me forever changed. Now I’m looking ahead to more goals: returning to Italy to sing in about a month, deciding whether I’ll step into another pageant, and launching my new business, ADA Paws Pass by Crystal . My life is full right now — full of momentum, full of calling, full of ideas I’m finally brave enough to pursue. But even in all of this fullness, there’s an emptiness I carry quietly. I do talk to two of my adult children, and I’m truly grateful for that. But I still feel a distance — especially with our adult daughter, who I’m currently estranged from. I don’t get the sense that any of them are truly interested in these new adventures — not in the way I imagined or longed for. And that silence? It hurts more than I can put into words. When There Are No Answers The estrangement with our adult daughter didn’t happen because of one big blowout. It happened because of unspoken expectations and misunderstood communications. It was more of a slow drift — one that left me wondering when the closeness faded and why it hasn’t come back. I’ve replayed conversations, second-guessed myself, and searched for the turning point… but the answers just aren’t there. What I do know is this: I want to share my life with them. The wins. The struggles. The moments that matter. I want to say, Look what I’m doing. Look how I’ve grown. I wish you could see me. But when that desire meets disinterest or silence, it makes everything feel a little lonelier — even the most joyful moments. I Keep Building Anyway Still, I show up. I keep going. I let myself grieve what’s missing, but I don’t let it stop me from creating what’s possible. I keep showing up — for my calling, for my purpose, for the people who do  see me, and most importantly, for me . I take the stage.I get on the plane.I start the business.I wear the dress.I tell my story. I make the memory — even if the people I thought would be clapping aren’t in the crowd. I Can Love Them Without Contact This is where I’m learning to live in the tension — to love people deeply, even from a distance. To carry memories and hope without needing the fairytale ending. I’ve learned that I can forgive without forgetting.I can honor the love that was, even if the relationship no longer is.I can find healing even when reconciliation isn’t on the table. I don’t need to have all the answers to move forward. I just need to take the next right step. The Weight I’m Carrying Right Now I have to tell you that none of these things are easy. Since I participated in the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant, I’ve experienced discrimination simply because people don’t understand the rights of individuals with disabilities under the ADA — especially those of us who rely on service dogs. I came home, and now Nelson and I are facing one of the hardest challenges we’ve ever walked through as a couple. I felt incredibly discouraged today. So much has happened in just two weeks — my life has been turned upside down, sideways, in circles. I don’t even recognize myself anymore, even compared to who I was just a few days ago. I’m aching for something good, something to celebrate. And to be honest, Mother's Day was terrible. It reminded me of everything I’ve lost, everything that still hurts. A Final Word Living with estrangement during a time of growth doesn’t make me weak. It makes me real. It means I have a heart big enough to feel both joy and grief, love and loss, all at the same time. So if you’re walking through something like this too, I want to tell you what I’m learning to tell myself: You are not alone.You are not invisible.You are still worthy of love and celebration. Even if they never say it — I will :I see you. I’m proud of you. And your story matters. Please remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you. We want to know your story. #LivingWithEstrangement#EstrangedButStillLoving#MothersDayGrief#WhenLifeGetsMessy#MentalHealthMatters#FaithThroughHardTimes#ServiceDogSupport#ADAAwareness#InvisibleDisabilities#MrsTennesseeAmerica#WomenWithPurpose#GriefAndGrowth#EstrangedMothersClub#MyStoryMatters#ResilienceInPain#PageantJourney#StartingOverAgain#HealingInProgress#ADAAdvocate#ReclaimYourVoice#SurvivorStrength#StillStanding#OneDayAtATime#YouAreNotAlone

Crystal's Left Broken Leg. The sock was because it was December, and my toes stayed cold! Estrangement with your adult child changes you in ways you would never have imagined. Having our adult daughter cut off all communication with us, and tell us to stop communicating with her, causes overwhelming feelings of rejection, betrayal, broken trust, belittlement, self-doubt, grief, loss and many other emotions. You spend an abundance of time working to process these feelings, and move on in your life. I deliberately look for things that are healthy and worthwhile, things that will help others, and keep my mind and heart positive. This journey has not been linear. It’s more like a GPS gone rogue. "Rerouting... rerouting... rerouting..." It's a spiritual GPS now, and the only voice I trust is God’s. And I have had to cling to that voice through the whirlwind of emotions and health complications, all while trying to maintain grace (and my balance... literally). Because, let’s face it, my body’s been staging a rebellion for years. I live with Complex PTSD, Severe Anxiety, Seizures, Panic Attacks, Vestibular Migraines, balance issues, and yes — I am a fall risk. I should probably be bubble-wrapped, but apparently Amazon doesn’t carry that in human size. To assist with daily living, I have a service dog. Not an accessory. Not an emotional support animal. A trained, working service dog. His name is Big — and he’s 105 pounds of absolute professional, loyal, slobbery goodness. But apparently, to society, Big is just a dog. I've had people ask for paperwork, proof, certifications — you name it. For the record, under ADA law, that is not only unnecessary, but it’s also illegal to demand. Spoiler alert: There’s no magical Hogwarts-style service dog diploma. And yet, discrimination is alive and well. This week, I was denied the opportunity to enter an event because the organizers had “never had anyone with a service dog before” and felt Big might “distract others.” They said they hoped I would understand. And you know what? I do understand. I understand they are completely uneducated about the law and that what they’re doing is called disability discrimination. It’s against the law, folks. And in the future, they need to take into consideration that they are breaking ADA laws and could be sued by someone if they continue to be uninformed. Just when you think things can't get more Lifetime-movie-esque, I broke my left leg walking — in 2023. That’s right — one step, boom. I had just closed my car door, took one step, and I was down. It happened in the street, parked in front of my children's dad’s house. (Yes, you can go ahead and picture it in slow motion — that’s how it felt.) Then I went to the emergency room and told them I was a fall risk. They still gave me crutches and told me that was all they had to offer. I had a freshly wrapped broken leg, and the hospital attendants saw that I was extremely unsteady on the crutches. Despite that, they let me attempt to crutch my way out the door to the car where my son and his fiancée (now spouse)were waiting. Before I made it to the car, I fell again. They are fortunate that I didn't break anything else or cause more damage to my just broken leg. I was thankful to God as well. Soon after, a wonderful friend who had gone through something similar loaned me her electric wheelchair. I'm forever grateful for her kindness and generosity. And through it all, my dogs — Big, and my other four (yes, I said four, which makes five in all — save your judgment, you don't have to have them or love animals as much as I do) — Jace, Pippin, Lilly Rose, and Duchess Sophie, save my life and sanity every single day. Jace has literally saved my life. I was attacked by a dog while walking him, and Jace jumped into action and protected me. I have the scars to prove it. My life is a Lifetime drama. Or did I say that already? Still, I am simply living and doing the very best that I can to be the best version of me, and to please and glorify God in every way possible. At the end of my life, I just want to stand before Him and hear: "Well done, my good and faithful servant." That is all I want. And maybe a nap. Definitely a nap.

The Front of the T-Shirts for ADA Paws Pass by Crystal You know those moments where everything’s going great, and then, out of nowhere, it’s like someone threw a giant paperwork storm at you? That’s exactly what happened to me at the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant —but this time, it wasn’t just about paperwork, it was about Big , my service dog, and me fighting the good fight for ADA rights  in stilettos. The Resort: Where Paperwork Grew Legs It all started innocently enough at the resort. I was pumped to be there, feeling ready to represent my mental health platform—until I was asked to “put paperwork on file”  for my service dog. Um… What? I don’t know about you, but according to ADA Law , people with service dogs (like me) don’t need to register  or show paperwork  to get through the door. In fact, businesses can only ask two questions: Is this a service dog? What work or task is it trained to do? Big’s a trained professional. But apparently, the resort staff didn’t get the memo. I was asked to give them paperwork, which, just so we’re clear, they legally cannot ask for. 🤦‍♀️ But wait, it gets better! Not only did they want my “paperwork on file,” they actually wanted me to sign a contract  about my service dog—because, you know, what’s a vacation without a little legal drama, right? 😅 The Event Center: An Emotional Rollercoaster, Now With Seizures Next stop: the event center . So, Big and I walk in for the pageant prep, and I kid you not, there was an impromptu service dog inspection . You know, because who doesn’t want to add a little extra drama to their day? A staff member insisted once again that I needed to “put paperwork on file” for Big. But, the day before, he had been with me in that building all day without any issues . Let that sink in. After rehearsals, dinner, and absolutely zero complaints, we’re back for showtime and suddenly I’m public enemy #1 for not having a folder of paperwork in hand. Of course, a few uninvited voices jumped in with their "You do need paperwork"  comments. Thank you, stranger, for your unsolicited legal advice. 🙄 Before I knew it, I was surrounded, panicked, shaking, and—yep, you guessed it— I had a panic attack and a seizure backstage . But then, right on cue, Big went into action with his touch therapy , gently pressing his body against me, offering calm and stability in the middle of the chaos. Meanwhile, my husband rushed backstage, his presence a grounding force. He grabbed my medication and quickly fetched a bowl of ice water  for me to use as part of my Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)  technique. DBT is one of the tools that helps me regulate my emotions in high-stress situations, and it was a game-changer in this moment. Big’s touch therapy and my husband’s quick thinking helped me get through this intense ordeal, but it shouldn’t have had to come to this. Compassion, Not Confrontation Listen, if you’re living with Complex PTSD , Vestibular Migraines , and balance issues, a surprise "Are you sure this dog is a service animal?"  moment is not your idea of a good time. It’s not cute. It’s not funny. And it definitely doesn’t help with estrangement  from one of your adult daughters, which, by the way, is a challenge that doesn't need to be rubbed in your face while you’re trying to just, you know, exist and do the pageant thing . What I needed was a little compassion , not a 20-question interrogation. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Finding Purpose, Even Through Pain Even though the emotional pain of being estranged  from one of my adult daughters still lingers, I’ve learned to find purpose . Having Big  by my side has given me the freedom to be myself , to socialize, and to educate  people about how service dogs work. Instead of feeling isolated and judged, I get to take the opportunity to raise awareness about invisible disabilities, PTSD, and the importance of having a service dog. And hey, I don’t stop there . I’ve got four other dogs —yes, five dogs  in total. All of them are emotional support animals. And I’ll tell you, they do wonders for my mental health. So, don’t judge . It’s not your house , and you don’t know how much these animals help me through tough days. They’re part of my journey, and they deserve just as much respect as any service dog. 🐾 Why I Created ADA Paws Pass by Crystal This whole experience is exactly why I started ADA Paws Pass by Crystal —to help people like me who just want to live our lives without getting questioned or judged for needing our service dogs . This is all about educating  the public (and yes, event centers, I’m looking at you) on the real rights of service dog handlers under the ADA law. It’s also for those of us with invisible disabilities , who don’t have a “badge of honor” plastered on us telling the world we need extra help. We don’t need to carry around stacks of paperwork—just understanding. It’s all about raising awareness, bridging ignorance to education, and turning pain into purpose . I also created it so that nobody has to experience what I did : confusion, stress, and public humiliation. Nope. Let’s not do that. What’s In It for You? (Besides Helping Me Avoid More Panic Attacks 😅) ADA Paws Pass  isn’t just about legal advocacy; we’ve also got some fun products to help spread the word and make life a little easier for people with service dogs (and their handlers): T-shirts with the Sunflower Symbol : You know, because sunflowers are not just for decoration—they’re the international symbol for invisible disabilities ! Plus, each shirt comes with a QR code that links directly to the ADA Service Dog page,  for all your ADA law needs. Bonus: You’ll look stylish while raising awareness. 🌻 Hats with the Sunflower Symbol : If you’re more of a “hat person,” we’ve got you covered (literally). These hats also have the QR code and are great for a casual but impactful look. 👒 And as if that wasn’t enough, the ADA Paws Pass by Crystal  website is coming soon, and more products are in the works—so stay tuned! Supporting Our Veterans Here’s the kicker: 10% of the profits  from every purchase go to Fortunate Sons , an amazing organization that helps veterans  in their recovery from PTSD. So, you’re not just rocking a cool shirt or hat—you’re also helping heroes who need it most. 🦸‍♂️🇺🇸 Call to Action: Time to Join the Pack Stand with Big, and stand with us!  If you want to pre-order your ADA Paws Pass t-shirt or hat , message me through my Facebook page . You’ll be helping spread awareness, raising support for invisible disabilities, and most importantly, making sure people like me—and Big—are never  stopped from doing what we have every right to do. It’s time to turn frustration into fashion ! Please remember that you are loved and enough. Leave a Comment and let us hear from you! We want to know your story. #ADAServiceDog #ServiceDogs #InvisibleDisabilities #MentalHealthAwareness #PTSDRecovery #FortunateSons #PageantDrama #SunflowerSymbol #BigAndMe #ServiceDogRights #DisabilityAdvocacy #PreOrderNow #RaiseAwareness #SupportVeterans #ADA #DogsOfInstagram #EmpathyMatters #FashionForACause #Estrangement #EstrangementWithAdultDaughter

Me Backstage at the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant. I will not let estrangement stop me from being my best self! Well, folks… I did it! I competed in the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant  and had an absolutely royal  time! From the sparkles to the sisterhood, I left the stage with a full heart, a few sore muscles (those gowns are heavy ), and a deeper appreciation for supportive friends, pageant hairspray, and my Service Dog. Big Steals the Show! Speaking of dogs—my beloved Service Dog, Big , was a total showstopper ! While I was dolled up in my gown, Big strutted through the venue with the confidence of a runway model and the purpose of a true working dog. We were quite the duo—me in heels, him in his vest—spreading awareness and breaking stigmas left and right. He even “woo-wooed” on stage  for the audience, earning laughs, applause, and probably more hearts than I did! Big was living his best life, and honestly, I think he thought the whole event was for him. Nelson and I had countless beautiful conversations with curious strangers about Service Dogs : how they’re trained, what they can do, where they can go, and what the law says about their rights. We were thrilled to find that people are eager to learn. Big even gained some new fans and followers on Instagram  (yes, he’s an influencer now). He’s basically the real celebrity of our family. I just wear the sash. Big"s QR code for Instgram Swimsuit Round: Confidence in Every Step And let’s not forget an essential part of the competition: swimsuit round . Let me tell you—walking confidently in a swimsuit onstage is an empowering experience… especially after losing 62 pounds ! It was a personal victory to even step on that stage, let alone strut with a smile. And yes, I had help from the trusty tool every seasoned pageant girl swears by: butt glue . Yep, it’s a real thing. And it works. Just one more thing I never thought I’d add to my weekend packing list! The Power of Support But the highlight of the weekend wasn’t just the stage—it was the support . My amazing BFF and her precious granddaughters  came to cheer me on, along with my sweet husband . There’s nothing like knowing the people who love you most are in the audience, clapping like wild at all the right moments, and reminding you that you’re already a winner just by showing up with courage and conviction. The Ticket That Took Us by Surprise Now, if this were a fairy tale, I’d end here and cue the Disney music… but alas, real life  doesn’t always come with neat little bows or theme songs. Just as I was floating down from the pageant high, guess what landed in our mailbox? A traffic ticket . Not ours. Oh no, that would be too simple. This little surprise was for my estranged adult daughter —the one who explicitly told us in a letter (yes, a formal letter) that we are not to contact her. No calls. No texts. No emails. No carrier pigeons. No smoke signals. Unless it’s a medical emergency or car maintenance (emphasis on the "or"). Because any contact from us causes her anxiety. Okay. Deep breath. Respecting boundaries? Check. The CRV Situation So here’s where things get twisty: once upon a time, we signed over our old CRV  to our children’s dad, with the intention that she would use it . The idea was to help her have a car, while clearly stepping away from financial or logistical responsibility. In her “Do Not Contact Me” letter, she made it clear—this was the boundary. And we respected that. So we stopped paying for insurance, maintenance, taxes, etc. It’s now Dad’s deal . Well, months later , he still hasn’t registered the car in his name. So when the ticket arrived, it came to us . Insert heavy sigh and the tiniest eye twitch here. I gave it to my son, who sees his dad regularly, and asked him to pass it along. I even texted her dad to say, “Hey, we got a ticket in the mail for your daughter’s car. Sending it your way. Also—have you registered it yet?” His response? “No. It’s on my list. Sorry.” Just sorry. And then… nothing. From anyone. Staying Strong and Moving Forward Now, I’m not saying we’re perfect parents. But let’s be real—when someone says contact with us gives them anxiety , maybe they  shouldn’t be giving us  heart palpitations by letting tickets arrive at our house? But we move on. We breathe. We respect boundaries (even when it’s a one-way street). And we keep living our lives. And me? I shift my focus back to creating something good —a new business idea  that will empower others like me who live with invisible disabilities  and rely on Service Dogs  like Big to navigate the world with independence and dignity. Because if there’s one thing this season of life is teaching me, it’s this: the best crowns are the ones you earn through resilience.  And whether you’re wearing a tiara, a swimsuit with butt glue, or a dog harness, the job is the same—show up, speak truth, and help someone along the way. Until next time, may your mailboxes be boring, your heels be sturdy, and your Service Dogs be adorable. Love, Crystal & Big  🐾 Remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you! We want to know your story! Make sure to subscribe to this blog! #MrsTennesseeAmerica #PageantLife #BeautyAndBrains #PageantJourney #CrownedAndConfident #SwimsuitConfidence #62PoundsDown #PersonalVictory #ResilienceIsKey #ShiningBright #QueenVibes #ServiceDogLife #BigTheServiceDog #InvisibleDisabilities #ServiceDogAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #MentalHealthAwareness #InvisibleIllnesses #RescueDogPower #EstrangedFamily #EstrangementJourney #FamilyBoundaries #RespectingBoundaries #FamilyHealing #MovingForward #ToughLove #LifeInProgress #KeepMovingForward #ResilientLiving #LifeLessons #NewBeginnings #CreatingSomethingGood #PositiveVibesOnly #GrowthMindset #TakingControl #LiveWithPurpose

Estrangement and Rising Anyway I’m preparing to compete for the title of Mrs. Tennessee America this Saturday , and while the crown sparkles with opportunity, the journey here hasn’t been glamorous. It’s been hard  — painfully, privately hard. I’m walking this path with the weight of estrangement from an adult child. That word — estranged  — it echoes in my chest sometimes. It doesn't just mean distance. It means a kind of silence that screams. It means unresolved questions, birthdays missed, memories tucked in drawers that no longer open. The pain of it isn’t always visible, but it’s there. A bruise beneath the surface. Sometimes, I don’t think my family really sees it. They have their own lives, and they stay on the side of the lines they’ve drawn. And I try to respect that… but I struggle with not having them close — not in the way I need. I don’t even know if my husband truly understands the weight I carry, or what his role could mean in moments like this. I long for him to step into that place of steady strength — and sometimes, I just don’t feel it. That’s not blame — it’s just the ache of unmet needs. The pain deepens when I see the way my ex-husband continues to act. Distant. Obtuse. Not cruel — just disconnected in a way that magnifies the loneliness. It’s hard to feel so completely alone while standing in a house full of memories. But here’s the thing: I still choose to rise. Not because it’s easy.Not because everything is okay.But because I refuse to let what’s uncertain steal what’s possible. And I don’t rise entirely alone. God, in His deep kindness, has given me three extraordinary friends — people who show up without needing a spotlight, who speak life over my dreams and sit with me in the shadows when everything feels heavy. They are the quiet gifts I didn’t know I needed. Because of them, it all feels possible  again. I’ve done what I could. I’ve shown up with love, even when it was met with silence. I’ve carried weight I never planned for. But I owe it to myself  to keep moving — to walk forward with grace and fire, even when the ground beneath me shakes. There’s a part of me that still aches. Of course there is. I’m human, and I care deeply. But I will not allow what I cannot control to sabotage what I can still  become. I am not competing with perfection. I am competing with authenticity, with purpose, and with quiet resilience. To anyone reading this who feels strangely estranged — who’s navigating broken ties while chasing dreams — know this: You are not alone. And your worth is not diminished by someone else’s inability to see it. You can rise with a broken heart.You can walk the runway of life — or a stage in Gatlinburg — with grief in your gut and power in your presence.You can be both healing and unshakable at the same time. And you are worthy of every beautiful thing coming your way. — Crystal McDaniel Mrs. Chattanooga America Mental Health Advocate | Survivor | Voice of Resilience #RisingThroughEstrangement #CompetingWithCourage #BrokenButStrong #MentalHealthAwareness #Resilience #Survivor #StayStrong #Estrangement #HealingJourney #StrengthInAdversity #Inspiration #CourageToRise #MrsTennesseeAmerica #Empowerment #FaithAndStrength #PersonalGrowth #HealingHeart #YouAreWorthy #MentalHealthAdvocate #RiseAbove #FindYourStrength #MrsChattanoogaAmerica

Causes of Estrangement There is a, " New Silent Epidemic ," going on in our culture today. It is called Estrangement . In our case, it is estrangement with our adult daughter. Estrangement is on the rise. I am a researcher. I do lots of research, on a lot of different subjects. Since this is the path that we are walking right now, I research estrangement. In my research, I have found out that 1/4 of parents/families in the United States are going through some kind of estrangement with a family member. In the majority of cases, it is an estrangement with an adult child. I wish I could write this blog only from one perspective. It would not be the most prudent thing to do. When I decided to put this blog out into the world, I did it to help myself to understand the estrangement we have with our adult daughter. Writing my thoughts and feelings has always been a great way for me to process different events in my life, be they positive or negative. So...in this particular blog subject, I have to look at both sides in order to get a better understanding. Honestly, I would rather act like a child and cry, then stomp my feet and scream, "ENOUGH ALREADY, GET A GRIP YOUNG LADY!" If I did that, it would only strengthen the reasons that the estrangement happened in the first place. (At least from her perspective). I asked my son and other daughter a question this week. I have had a pretty hard mental and emotional week, dealing with the estrangement with our adult daughter. I asked them the question, "Does she still love me?" I do not feel loved. I feel abandoned, betrayed, and lost. I told Nelson that it makes me feel like I have lost a part of my identity, and it really makes me doubt myself. My son and other daughter said that she does love me. In fact, I was told, "Loving you has never been the issue." The only way I can process that information is to say, "Ok..." That statement truly leaves me feeling empty. This is where all the perspectives come in to play. One perspective says, "We love you, we just don't always need you." What is my perspective? I think that type of thinking stinks!!! I completely get that my adult children don't need me to make decisions for them. They fully have the ability to make solid, wise decisions. It is as though they think that I want them to need me to do life for them, to be so involved that they don't have the freedom to make decisions on their own. It seems like they believe I want to control them. I can tell you right now, I DON'T! I have enough on my plate without being in the middle of their lives and decisions. Good Grief. I feel very misunderstood. I didn't need my mother in the middle of all of my life either. I did need her. I needed her love, concern, listening ear. I needed her presence, and support. I loved her, and wanted her and needed her to be around in my life. It seems to me, that my adult daughters have an extremely different view and understanding of the word, "need." I cannot express to you enough, how misunderstood it makes me feel. To quote from Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare , "Oh, Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?" (Even though there is a completely different meaning for this quote, than how I am using it). LOL No matter what, I have learned to just keep my mouth closed, and my hands off of these subjects with my adult son and adult daughter. Talking with them about these type of things, (even though they are adults), is completely useless, and gets me nowhere. What did I find out in my research? Along with the statistic that 1 out of every 4 people in the U.S. is involved in some sort of family estrangement, it is on the rise. Not only are the divorce rates rising, adult children becoming estranged from their parents is truly becoming an epidemic. The reasons vary. Some estrange themselves due to conflicts between spouses. An adult child may be married to someone who doesn't like the parents, and there is too much tension, and anxiety involved. The adult child feels they have no choice, and chooses their spouse. That is completely understandable. I do not say this to give the impression I approve. I just understand the point. Some adult children estrange themselves due to parents having alcohol/drug addictions. Some cut-off communication due to physical, mental, and emotional abuse. There is also the point of having different beliefs and values, and they don't align with what their parents believe and value. In our case, I believe the cause is enmeshment. I think my estranged adult daughter feels that she was too close to have her own life, thoughts, beliefs, and identity. If I look at the situation from that particular point-of-view, I can understand her decision. There are some relationships that I have walked away from, due to the need to be my own person, and not be influenced by the thoughts and opinions of the others in the relationship. I see the perspective and understand it. I still feel extreme pain and loss. In my research, I also learned that from the perspective of the parents, estrangement with an adult child can cause a tidal wave of damage, leaving parents in the emotional rubble to pick up the pieces of what is left of their lives. Parental estrangement—when an adult child cuts off contact or severely limits communication—can have significant mental health effects on parents. The emotional impact is often profound, resembling grief or even trauma. Here are some key mental and emotional consequences: Grief and Loss  – Estrangement can feel like mourning a living person, leading to intense sadness and longing. Depression and Anxiety  – Many parents experience depression, heightened anxiety, and even symptoms of post-traumatic stress due to the rejection. Social Isolation  – Parents may withdraw from social interactions, feeling ashamed or reluctant to discuss the situation with friends or family. Chronic Stress  – The emotional strain can lead to physical health problems such as high blood pressure, insomnia, or weakened immune function. Self-Doubt and Guilt  – Some parents repeatedly question their past choices, wondering what went wrong and blaming themselves. Loss of Identity  – Parental roles are deeply tied to identity, and estrangement can disrupt a sense of purpose and belonging. I have experienced every single one of the items on this list. I work daily to move forward anyway. It is not easy. Especially when I feel all these things, and I am competing for the title of Mrs. Tennessee America next week. I have to work overtime to keep my eyes on my goal, and not be distracted by my feelings about this estrangement with my adult daughter, that I cannot control and can do nothing about. The last of my research this week promotes me to weigh the pros and cons about allowing my heart to let her go. What I mean is this; allowing my heart to let her go is to close the door, and accept that she is gone. Doing this sets me free to live my life without the pain of her choice and absence all the time. I believe this is a good decision for me to make. The other side of the coin is to keep my heart open, and continue to yearn, and have full faith and hope that she will return. Though the latter sounds much more positive, it leaves me wide open to just wait and wait and wait, and stay stuck. Allowing my heart to let her go, gives me the peace to live my life in a new and free way. That sounds great! It is what I am leaning towards, except for one small glitch...if she randomly calls and tries to reconnect, that leaves me with making a choice between opening my heart again, knowing that she may just simply cut-off our relationship again, and keeping my distance and letting our relationship remain at arms length. Neither prospect sounds ideal. Things have changed. The landscape of my family is forever altered now, and nothing will be the same. Stay tuned to find out which option Nelson and I will choose! Please remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us here from you. Nelson and I want to know your story. #EstrangementAwareness #FamilyEstrangement #BreakingTheSilence #UnspokenGrief #TheSilentEpidemic #ModernEstrangement #HealingFromEstrangement #BoundariesAreHealthy #HealingIsMessy #HealingJourney #BreakingGenerationalCycles #MentalHealthMatters #ChoosingPeaceOverPeople #EstrangementRecovery #MyEstrangementStory #YouAreNotAlone #TellYourTruth #HealingThroughHonesty #RedefiningFamily #TheNewGrief #EstrangementIsTheNewExile #RewritingFamily #EstrangementExplained #WhenFamilyHurts

Big and Me Estrangement with our adult daughter is draining. Nelson and I have to do a lot to refill our mental, emotional, and physical cups on a daily basis. It is similar to have a really slow leak in a bathtub. You can fill it up with water, and when you go back and check it a little later, the water level is a good bit lower, than it was at the start. We have to make a conscious choice to do good things, every single day, that we enjoy. We are becoming more and more intentional about taking care of ourselves in this manner. Today, we went out to lunch after church, and enjoyed a bit of the beautiful day. I enjoyed the time we had together. I picked out the title of this blog, first because the words are very recognizable. Being a singer, and performer of Opera/Musical Theatre, it is obvious that I am going to use something musically related to express myself, LOL. So..."Here is the gist, a practical list," (another musical reference, "Oklahoma, Rogers/Hammerstein), of some of our favorite things to do to help ourselves feel better, live better, and love better. Take walks. Chattanooga is a beautiful city, it is home to a lot of wonderful resources, offers plenty of opportunities to enjoy the day, or evening, and have a bit of a staycation. We love to take walks. The Chattanooga Riverpark is so very beautiful, and follows a few miles of the Tennessee River, boasting fresh air and beautiful views. One of the paths we take along the river, goes through the Art District, we then cross over the Historic Walnut Street Bridge, and walk the sidewalks of the North Shore Area. It is free to do, gives us the opportunity to talk, and walk the dogs. Owning Dogs. Having our dogs truly helps our emotional and mental health. I am not saying that all people who are dealing with an estrangement need to have dogs. Not all people are dog people. I am an animal person. Not just a dog person. I would have all the animals, if I could. I can say, that our dogs help us tremendously. They keep us moving. They need attention, and care. They get us out of the house, and into the world. They require exercise, thus the walking. They pick up on our energy. They require us to work on our mental and emotional health, so that it influences them in a positive way. If I have a high anxiety day, they will too. It promotes us to pay attention to how we speak and feel. It is beneficial to our communication with one another. Having our dogs, helps me to have a place to put my love, and need to nurture into play. Loving and nurturing our dogs, gives me a feeling of peace, and that I am needed. Living estranged from our adult daughter, and hearing from our two other adult children during Family Therapy, helped me to realize that I have to develop a new, healthier relationship with my grown children. That has not been an easy journey for me. Most of the time, it brings up feelings of rejection, and being unneeded, or just plain unwanted. All of that is leftover trauma from my childhood. I have to find my own path. My own purpose. Having our dogs, gives me a positive message, and support in the changes that I am making in our marriage, and in my life. My dogs never make me feel rejected, or unwanted. That is very healing. Being someone with Complex PTSD, plus Vestibular Migraines, balance issues, PNES, (Psychogenic Nonepileptic Seizures), and being a fall risk, has required that I have a Service Dog. It is too dangerous for me to go out alone, without some assistance. Because of my extreme anxiety, I am not comfortable going places alone. Having my service dog, Big, helps. He is an ice breaker. People tend to be more open and friendly. That makes going out much easier for me to navigate. Open and friendly is good. I also know that Big is there to assist me, if I have any trouble. Having him eases Nelson's concerns about my being out and alone as well. Finding a great church. Our faith is important to us. Knowing there is a loving, kind, and good God, that is always on our side, is the biggest focus in our lives. For many years we were involved in a church that we never felt comfortable in. It was never home. Now, we are members of a great church. Our church family is wonderful. People are starting to recognize us, they stop and speak to us. It is the opposite of what we had before. We love to stop and speak to them. It is beginning to feel like home. Slowly, I am feeling the desire to become more involved in the everyday church life. I am not as scared anymore. The people there, our new church family, has helped with that part of our healing as well. We cannot go around the estrangement and the problems that caused it. We cannot go over, or under these issues. We have to go through the pain of estrangement, and all of the junk that comes with it. God will walk us through the wilderness we find ourselves in, and the church people we have found are truly willing to listen, support, and walk with us. So...yes, having a great church to attend is one of my favorite things! My Friends. My friends are my chosen family. They are my pulse, and heartbeat. I am blessed enough to have 3 very close friends. I am so very grateful. Two of my friends live close to me. One is in town, one is a little less than an hour and a half away. The other one live in California. I get together with them as often as possible. I plan time with the one in town on a weekly basis. I talk with the other two every few days. We support each other in a loving, non-judgemental way. We love each other. We listen, and show-up for each other. We carry each other's burdens. No weight is too heavy, or secret too deep. Everyone needs friends like this in their lives. It makes going through the terrible storms in life easier. This is the short list of my favorite things that help Nelson and I through this hard time of estrangement with our adult daughter. All of these things help with the day to day complications of having Complex PTSD, and my other physical health issues. I use other techniques, such as EMDR, DBT, and CBT. It all begins to look like a strange alphabet, doesn't it? LOL. I would elaborate more about these techniques, and explain them more in depth, it is just very time consuming. If you are interested, please use google, and look them up. To finish this blog up for today, which is the first Monday in Holy Week for 2025, I want to encourage you to, "Take off your shoes, for this is Holy Ground." Exodus 3:5. What I mean is, do not let anything come in between you and God. The ground on which we walk is Holy, and we, as His children, are Holy. We are set apart to do His works here on Earth. Be filled with mercy, love, and compassion, just as Jesus is filled with mercy, love, and compassion. I sent a text yesterday, to my children's dad. I told him how sad it makes me to have birthdays,holidays, other special days to go by, and to hear nothing from her. I told him how sad it makes me to know she speaks to everyone else, except Nelson and me. I knew in sending it, I would get no response. And I was right, there was absolutely no response. I sent it because he and I have lost another child together. I know that he knows the pain of losing a child. I also told him that I understand that our estrangement issue is not his issue. These things are all factual. I said them, as much for myself, as I did for him. It would be easy for me to place judgement on his non-responsiveness. If I do that, it would mean that I had an expectation of a response. I knew in sending the message that there would be none. It was merely an expression of my feelings of loss and frustration. Just like writing this blog. I am simply letting out some of the steam and pressure that builds up. I don't know if it really helps, or if anyone reads this blog. Which brings me to the last of my favorite tools, journaling, and blogging. LOL. My sending their dad a text, and getting no response, is merely an example of the need we have to be vulnerable, and express compassion. If you don't know what to say, then just simply say, "I don't know what to say!" Actually communicate that you feel compassion and empathy, you just don't have answers. Be a listening ear, a caring physical presence. Jesus with skin for someone else. Take off your shoes, and don't let anything come between you and the Holy work God has placed in front of you. I hope my list of favorite things helps you in finding your own favorite things. We have to go on a search for what we like, and what we don't like. Just like Julia Roberts' character did in the movie, "The Runaway Bride." (If you haven't seen it, watch it. It is a fun movie). It takes courage, and effort to learn about yourself. You have to stop identifying the likes and dislikes of others, and find your own. My dogs are my very favorite choice of support every day. I love having Big with me everywhere I go. His presence brings me confidence and peace. That is something that I pray that everyone here that reads this blog, receives. Peace. Estrangement with an adult child is hard. The pain doesn't end, it becomes manageable, if you want that for yourself. That is part of the Holy Ground on which we stand. God is with us, and helps us make our pain in this world, manageable. "The Lord gave, and The Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21 Remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you. Nelson and I want to know your story. #estrangement #estrangementwithadultchild #mrbig #servicedog #servicedogsofchattanooga #mentalhealthawareness #complexptsd #22shenanigans #fortunatesons #mrstennesseeamericapageant #mrschattanoogaamerica #myfavoritethings #gottahavefriends #takeawalk Credit given to "Sound of Music," Rogers/Hammerstein for the title of this blog.

Crystal McDaniel, Mrs. Chattanooga America (photo credit: Holte Avery I have written before that I am competing for the title of Mrs. Tennessee America. The above photo is one of my headshots for the pageant. The pageant is now 18 days away! I have been working on this for months, and now it is almost here. I am getting in the last of what I need mode. New white pants, shoes, earrings, I have to pick up my gown, a few makeup supplies, a clothes rack, an air wrap curling iron, etc. It is a little crazy. I have to make sure I have a QR code for Big to wear on his vest. He is very popular, so I created an instagram for him. Yes, Big will be with me, most of the time. It was a hard road to get to this point. Lots of walking, weight training, eating right, giving up sugar altogether, and working on my mental and emotional health. Letting go of the things that hold me back. Letting go of self-sabotage. Not listening to the negative junk that says, "Everyone is better than you. You are too old." No!!! Just NO! I still have something to give! I have learned self-worth. The estrangement knocked me for a loop. Just like Rocky, I may be bloody, and tired. What I know is this, "I CAN TAKE A PUNCH AND GET BACK UP!" You better be fast on your feet, and know how to move, because I will punch back! LOL! Estrangement with my adult daughter is painful. I freely admit it. It is just like a death. It is a death. The death of a relationship that I had, and now, no matter what happens, it will be different. Different doesn't have to be bad. It is just what it says, different. I do not know what that means right now. I will have to wait and see what God is going to do with this piece of different. I do know He has a plan, and my job is to follow Him, and obey Him. That is what I have decided. To know that I can have my life torn apart, and my heart broken, then move forward, regardless... It isn't that I have never had my heart broken. I have had it broken many times. I was devastated when my son died. I was devastated when my mother and I were betrayed by close family, and friends. (I am the outcast within my immediate family). That is a story for another time. The death of my son was not his choice. With my estranged adult daughter, it was her choice. That is what makes it so very painful. Yet, I move forward, step by step. Nelson and I choose to build the life we dream of having, and that God promised us, anyway... I decide every single day to follow Jesus. I choose Jesus over everything, even my husband and children. I choose Jesus when I am happy, I choose Jesus when I am heartbroken. I choose to go to the, "Light of the World." I walk to the light, though at times it is tiny, and way in the distance. I choose Him! I also choose Me! I heard a story about Serena Williams. In this story she talked about how when she made it to her first Wimbeldon Finals, all the press talked about was the other person she was playing. They doubted she would win. In this story she allegedly told, it was said that she decided that if everyone was going to choose the other person, she would choose herself! Then, later on when everyone was saying she was too old, she decided, "I Choose Me!" I think that it is tremendous thought process. I adopted it for myself and the Mrs. Tennessee America Title. I CHOOSE ME! God chose me! God says, "I am fearfully and wonderfully made!" Psalms 139:14. In His eyes, I am young, still just a child. I am going with that way of seeing me! Estrangement or not, I say it again, "I CHOOSE ME!" This Saturday, April 12, 2025, the voting for, "The People's Choice," starts. It ends during intermission at the pageant on April 26, 2025. I will be posting a link on here, as well as, on my Facebook page and my Instagram, @mrschattanooga. Each vote is $1.00 and the money goes to support two Charities, Victoria's Voice, and The Severe County Animal Shelter. Please join me in choosing, "ME!" I would love to have your support and come along for the ride! I am planning on winning Mrs. Tennessee America. Please remember that you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you. We want to know your story. #IChooseMe #HealingThroughEstrangement #EstrangementAwareness #AdultChildEstrangement #BreakingTheSilence #ReclaimingMyPeace #WalkingInGrace #EstrangedButEmpowered #UnspokenGrief #HealingOneDayAtATime #MrsChattanoogaAmerica #MrsTennesseeAmerica #MrsAmerica #BeautyWithPurpose #CrownedWithCourage #PageantWithAPurpose #MentalHealthMatters #EstrangmenWithAdultChild

Psalm 34:18 (ESV): "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Stop, Drop, and Grow: Holy Ground in the Middle of Heartache I didn’t see it coming—not like this. Life had been hard. Even disappointing. There had been moments of hope, sure—but more often than not, I felt like I was just surviving. I carried so much pain and hurt. The loss of my mama still aches deep in my bones. Watching her slowly slip away from me while battling dementia was one of the hardest things I’ve ever walked through. Years of caregiving took a toll that no one saw but God. Layered on top of that were the financial struggles, the weight of trauma that stretched across my lifetime—things that were never truly resolved. It all collided into one massive tidal wave of overwhelming responsibility. I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t find solid ground. And then came one terrible day. A day I wasn’t sure I wanted to live through. I couldn’t see a way out of the pain. It swallowed me whole. I called my therapist. I sent texts to my children, telling them how much I loved them—just in case.I messaged my closest friend, who’s more than a brother to me, and asked him to be there for my adult children… because I was in trouble. And then, I went quiet. I didn’t answer the phone. I didn’t respond to the frantic calls or desperate messages. I was drowning.I hurt my family. I was in a deep hole.And that very day, my adult estranged daughter stopped talking to me. A new pain began. Weeks went by, and I didn’t hear from her. But right before Christmas, she called to find out if she could come over on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, which she did. It was painful and awkward, and I worked hard to put on a good face. When my adult children left, I sobbed. Everything was different. My heart had shifted. There was such a distance between me and my adult estranged daughter. I knew it would never be the same. I spent months having panic attacks and seizures. I would collapse on the floor, sobbing and sobbing, crying out to Jesus for help. I had trouble functioning. Inside of me, something died. I felt empty and lost. Only when my first child died had I felt such grief. Only when my son died had I felt such a heartbrokenness. Then came the anger—anger at being abandoned. During a time when I needed my family around me, when I needed support, I was angry at her seeming indifference. I wanted to scream, to demand answers. But all I had was silence. And that silence stung deeper than I could ever put into words. Even in the midst of this pain, I knew God was with me. I could hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit: He has not given up on me. I asked my family, the two other adult children who are not estranged, and my husband if they would be willing to attend family therapy. They all wanted to. My adult children especially—they had thought we had needed that for a long time. We started going. At first, I hated it. It felt like a session of let's tell mommy all the bad things she has done to us.  It was torturous to hear how my children had been hurt over the years by things I had done—and things Nelson had done—unintentionally, but still hurtful. Again, I had panic attacks. I never, ever wanted to hurt my children. I was blind and deaf to my own shortcomings, to the past traumas that had been a catalyst to their pain—and to my own. Over time, I learned to stop feeling that way and listen. I prayed and prayed and prayed. I knew that change is painful, and growth is hard, and before I could do anything else, I had to stop and listen. A new way of communication began to emerge. Though it is still hard and awkward, it is working. But there was even more that I needed to do. I needed to learn to STOP —to truly stop and give myself space to hear God, to hear my family, and to listen to the deep, quiet calls in my soul. This wasn’t just about stopping to breathe, it was about stopping to listen, to understand, and to embrace change, even when it was difficult. Stop. I had to stop pretending. Stop pushing through. Stop putting on the brave face. I was not okay—and I finally allowed myself to admit it. In stopping, I found stillness. And in the stillness, God met me. Not with judgment. Not with shame. Just presence. Drop. I dropped to my knees in desperation. I dropped every ounce of pressure I had been carrying for far too long. I dropped the grief, the guilt, the rage, the hopelessness. I dropped it all like shattered glass at His feet. And that place—where I felt like I had nothing left? It became holy ground. The kind of sacred space where God does His deepest work. Where healing doesn’t always shout—but it shows up, quietly, faithfully, powerfully. Like Moses standing before the burning bush, God whispered: “This is holy ground.” Not because it was perfect, but because He was present. Grow. I never thought growth could happen in a place that broken. But it is. Little by little, breath by breath, I started to grow—not in spite of the heartache, but because of it. I grew into someone softer and stronger.I grew into someone who could look pain in the face and still speak life.I grew into someone who knows now— I am still here. And that means something. If you're reading this and you’ve ever felt that kind of darkness—you are not alone. If today feels too heavy, too hard, too much—I see you. Stop.  Breathe. Drop.  Let go. Grow.  Even here. Even now. Because the soil of sorrow can still grow something sacred. Even this… is holy ground. Let me know if you need anything else! We are still estranged from our adult daughter. None of what I wrote today has changed that part of our lives. It has changed me. Nothing is perfect, It never will be while I am in this life. Even on Holy Ground , I still struggle. Not me Lord! Not me! That is what I say to Him. What is His reply? "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9 (NIV) Remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us know your story. We want to hear from you.

Parenting comes with many unexpected challenges, but nothing quite prepares you for the pain of estrangement from your own child. Estrangement is one of the most painful experiences a parent can face. The silence, the unanswered messages, and the uncertainty of the future can feel unbearable. If you’re in this place too, please know that you are not alone. For a long time, I carried the weight of hurt, confusion, and even anger. I wanted to understand. I wanted to fix things. But over time, I realized that holding onto these emotions wasn’t bringing my child back. It was only weighing me down, keeping me stuck in a cycle of sadness. Beyond that, I found myself angry at my spouse, feeling like they should have done more, said more, or understood my pain better. I also struggled with resentment when other family members continued to have contact with my child while I remained shut out. It felt unfair, like I was the only one paying the price. But that anger and resentment weren’t serving me—they were only adding to my suffering. That’s when I learned the power of letting go and forgiving—not just for my child’s sake, but for mine. Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Forgetting Forgiving an estrangement doesn’t mean you condone the hurt or dismiss your feelings. It means you’re choosing peace over pain. I had to remind myself that forgiveness was not about erasing the past but rather releasing its grip on my heart. Letting Go of What You Can’t Control One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that I can’t control my child’s choices, their perspective, or their healing process. I can only control how I respond. And so, I made a conscious choice to let go of the need for immediate reconciliation and instead focus on healing myself. Letting go isn’t giving up—it’s allowing yourself to live fully, even in the waiting. Extending Grace—to Myself and to Them I’ve made mistakes. My child has made mistakes. We are both human, both learning, both feeling. Instead of replaying past conversations or wishing I had done things differently, I’ve chosen to give myself grace. I am still worthy of love, even in the midst of this brokenness. And so is my child. Finding Peace in the Present Instead of dwelling on what I’ve lost, I try to focus on what I still have. I nurture the relationships that bring me joy, embrace the hobbies that fill my heart, and remind myself daily that my life is still meaningful. Practical Steps Toward Forgiveness and Peace Practice Mindfulness:  Daily meditation, journaling, or prayer can help you process emotions and reduce stress. Set Healthy Boundaries:  Protect your emotional well-being by recognizing what is and isn’t yours to carry. Reframe Your Perspective:  Instead of focusing on the pain, shift your thoughts to gratitude for the love and relationships you still have. Write a Letter (Even If You Don’t Send It):  Expressing your feelings in a letter to your child can be a powerful way to release emotions and find clarity. Trust the Journey:  Healing takes time. Allow yourself the grace to move forward at your own pace. Leaving the Door Open Forgiveness also means keeping hope alive—not in a way that prevents you from healing, but in a way that welcomes the possibility of reconciliation when and if the time is right. I choose to leave the door open, with love, without expectation. If you are struggling through estrangement, I encourage you to be kind to yourself. Release the burden of resentment and make space for healing. You deserve peace, no matter the outcome. And always remember—you are not alone in this journey. Remember that you are loved and enough. Don't forget to comment below. Nelson and I would love to hear your story #Forgiveness #Healing #Estrangement #Parenting #LettingGo #SelfCare #FindingPeace #FamilyHealing #Hope #EmotionalWellness #FamilyEstrangement #ParentEstrangement