Estrangement From My Daughter, Still Fighting: How I Keep Going When No One Seems to Notice

Here I am, in the background at the Mrs. Tennessee America 2025. The Winner is in the front. There I am not being noticed. I am still beautiful. Guess what?? I noticed!

There are chapters in life I never imagined I’d have to write. Some involve heartbreak, betrayal, or loss. But one of the hardest — and least talked about — has been estrangement. It’s the quiet absence that screams in the middle of life’s chaos. It’s the text that never comes, the chair that stays empty, the milestones that pass without a phone call.

And when life gets messy — not because I’m falling apart, but because I’m stretching, growing, and stepping into new things — that estrangement feels even heavier.

What Happens When They Don’t Show Up?

I just finished competing in the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant — something that took courage, vulnerability, and so much heart. It was an experience that left me forever changed. Now I’m looking ahead to more goals: returning to Italy to sing in about a month, deciding whether I’ll step into another pageant, and launching my new business, ADA Paws Pass by Crystal.

My life is full right now — full of momentum, full of calling, full of ideas I’m finally brave enough to pursue.

But even in all of this fullness, there’s an emptiness I carry quietly. I do talk to two of my adult children, and I’m truly grateful for that. But I still feel a distance — especially with our adult daughter, who I’m currently estranged from. I don’t get the sense that any of them are truly interested in these new adventures — not in the way I imagined or longed for. And that silence? It hurts more than I can put into words.

When There Are No Answers

The estrangement with our adult daughter didn’t happen because of one big blowout. It happened because of unspoken expectations and misunderstood communications. It was more of a slow drift — one that left me wondering when the closeness faded and why it hasn’t come back. I’ve replayed conversations, second-guessed myself, and searched for the turning point… but the answers just aren’t there.

What I do know is this: I want to share my life with them. The wins. The struggles. The moments that matter. I want to say, Look what I’m doing. Look how I’ve grown. I wish you could see me.

But when that desire meets disinterest or silence, it makes everything feel a little lonelier — even the most joyful moments.

I Keep Building Anyway

Still, I show up. I keep going.

I let myself grieve what’s missing, but I don’t let it stop me from creating what’s possible. I keep showing up — for my calling, for my purpose, for the people who do see me, and most importantly, for me.

I take the stage.I get on the plane.I start the business.I wear the dress.I tell my story.

I make the memory — even if the people I thought would be clapping aren’t in the crowd.

I Can Love Them Without Contact

This is where I’m learning to live in the tension — to love people deeply, even from a distance. To carry memories and hope without needing the fairytale ending.

I’ve learned that I can forgive without forgetting.I can honor the love that was, even if the relationship no longer is.I can find healing even when reconciliation isn’t on the table.

I don’t need to have all the answers to move forward. I just need to take the next right step.

The Weight I’m Carrying Right Now

I have to tell you that none of these things are easy. Since I participated in the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant, I’ve experienced discrimination simply because people don’t understand the rights of individuals with disabilities under the ADA — especially those of us who rely on service dogs. I came home, and now Nelson and I are facing one of the hardest challenges we’ve ever walked through as a couple. I felt incredibly discouraged today. So much has happened in just two weeks — my life has been turned upside down, sideways, in circles. I don’t even recognize myself anymore, even compared to who I was just a few days ago. I’m aching for something good, something to celebrate. And to be honest, Mother's Day was terrible. It reminded me of everything I’ve lost, everything that still hurts.

A Final Word

Living with estrangement during a time of growth doesn’t make me weak. It makes me real. It means I have a heart big enough to feel both joy and grief, love and loss, all at the same time.

So if you’re walking through something like this too, I want to tell you what I’m learning to tell myself:

You are not alone.You are not invisible.You are still worthy of love and celebration.

Even if they never say it — I will:I see you. I’m proud of you. And your story matters.

Please remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you. We want to know your story.

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