top of page
Search

Crowned Moments, Canines, and the Curious Case of the Traffic Ticket: Life, Estrangement, and a Pageant Weekend to Remember

  • Writer: Crystal McDaniel
    Crystal McDaniel
  • May 2
  • 4 min read

Me Backstage at the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant. I will not let estrangement stop me from being my best self!
Me Backstage at the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant. I will not let estrangement stop me from being my best self!

Well, folks… I did it! I competed in the Mrs. Tennessee America Pageant and had an absolutely royal time! From the sparkles to the sisterhood, I left the stage with a full heart, a few sore muscles (those gowns are heavy), and a deeper appreciation for supportive friends, pageant hairspray, and my Service Dog.


Big Steals the Show!


Speaking of dogs—my beloved Service Dog, Big, was a total showstopper! While I was dolled up in my gown, Big strutted through the venue with the confidence of a runway model and the purpose of a true working dog. We were quite the duo—me in heels, him in his vest—spreading awareness and breaking stigmas left and right. He even “woo-wooed” on stage for the audience, earning laughs, applause, and probably more hearts than I did! Big was living his best life, and honestly, I think he thought the whole event was for him.

Nelson and I had countless beautiful conversations with curious strangers about Service Dogs: how they’re trained, what they can do, where they can go, and what the law says about their rights. We were thrilled to find that people are eager to learn. Big even gained some new fans and followers on Instagram (yes, he’s an influencer now). He’s basically the real celebrity of our family. I just wear the sash.



Big"s QR code for Instgram
Big"s QR code for Instgram


Swimsuit Round: Confidence in Every Step


And let’s not forget an essential part of the competition: swimsuit round. Let me tell you—walking confidently in a swimsuit onstage is an empowering experience… especially after losing 62 pounds! It was a personal victory to even step on that stage, let alone strut with a smile. And yes, I had help from the trusty tool every seasoned pageant girl swears by: butt glue. Yep, it’s a real thing. And it works. Just one more thing I never thought I’d add to my weekend packing list!


The Power of Support


But the highlight of the weekend wasn’t just the stage—it was the support. My amazing BFF and her precious granddaughters came to cheer me on, along with my sweet husband. There’s nothing like knowing the people who love you most are in the audience, clapping like wild at all the right moments, and reminding you that you’re already a winner just by showing up with courage and conviction.


The Ticket That Took Us by Surprise


Now, if this were a fairy tale, I’d end here and cue the Disney music… but alas, real life doesn’t always come with neat little bows or theme songs.

Just as I was floating down from the pageant high, guess what landed in our mailbox?

A traffic ticket.

Not ours. Oh no, that would be too simple.

This little surprise was for my estranged adult daughter—the one who explicitly told us in a letter (yes, a formal letter) that we are not to contact her. No calls. No texts. No emails. No carrier pigeons. No smoke signals. Unless it’s a medical emergency or car maintenance (emphasis on the "or"). Because any contact from us causes her anxiety.

Okay. Deep breath. Respecting boundaries? Check.


The CRV Situation


So here’s where things get twisty: once upon a time, we signed over our old CRV to our children’s dad, with the intention that she would use it. The idea was to help her have a car, while clearly stepping away from financial or logistical responsibility. In her “Do Not Contact Me” letter, she made it clear—this was the boundary. And we respected that. So we stopped paying for insurance, maintenance, taxes, etc. It’s now Dad’s deal.

Well, months later, he still hasn’t registered the car in his name. So when the ticket arrived, it came to us. Insert heavy sigh and the tiniest eye twitch here.

I gave it to my son, who sees his dad regularly, and asked him to pass it along. I even texted her dad to say, “Hey, we got a ticket in the mail for your daughter’s car. Sending it your way. Also—have you registered it yet?”

His response?

“No. It’s on my list. Sorry.”

Just sorry.

And then… nothing. From anyone.


Staying Strong and Moving Forward


Now, I’m not saying we’re perfect parents. But let’s be real—when someone says contact with us gives them anxiety, maybe they shouldn’t be giving us heart palpitations by letting tickets arrive at our house?


But we move on. We breathe. We respect boundaries (even when it’s a one-way street). And we keep living our lives.


And me? I shift my focus back to creating something good—a new business idea that will empower others like me who live with invisible disabilities and rely on Service Dogs like Big to navigate the world with independence and dignity.


Because if there’s one thing this season of life is teaching me, it’s this: the best crowns are the ones you earn through resilience. And whether you’re wearing a tiara, a swimsuit with butt glue, or a dog harness, the job is the same—show up, speak truth, and help someone along the way.


Until next time, may your mailboxes be boring, your heels be sturdy, and your Service Dogs be adorable.


Love,Crystal & Big 🐾


Remember you are loved and enough. Comment below and let us hear from you! We want to know your story! Make sure to subscribe to this blog!



 
 
 

Comments

bottom of page