✨ Parental Estrangement Through a Faith Lens: Why I Started the Strangely Estranged Blog to Heal After Losing Connection With Our Adult Daughter
- Crystal McDaniel
- May 25
- 5 min read
I never imagined I’d be writing about estrangement from our adult daughter — but when heartbreak became the quiet background noise of our lives, I found refuge in prayer and a pen.
Writing has always helped me process pain and find peace. This blog, Strangely Estranged, is not just a place to tell my story — it’s a space to let go of shame, to share honestly, and to remind other estranged parents that you’re not alone.
I felt led by God to begin this journey. In my prayer journal, I pour out everything: the hurt, the hope, the frustration, and the faith. This blog grew out of that sacred space — a space where I let God work through my words and offer light to others walking through the dark.
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose." — Romans 8:28
🗣️ How Our Estrangement Began
Our story of parental estrangement began in September 2023 after what I thought was a simple, supportive conversation. I asked our adult daughter if I could hire her to help me with some YouTube videos for my business. She’s talented in video editing — it’s part of her career — and I truly believed this was a way to support her and get help with something I struggle with.
But the conversation didn’t go well. She was upset. I wasn’t sure why. In the days following, I sent her an email to apologize and explain. I told her I needed to communicate through writing for a while. Writing slows me down. It helps me stay calm and clear, and I can express myself without anxiety clouding my words.
But that, too, seemed to upset her. What followed was the beginning of a painful estrangement from both me and my husband. Our adult daughter still maintains relationships with other people in our family, but she stopped all direct contact with us — her parents. That’s a grief that is hard to explain unless you’ve lived it. It’s not total isolation, but a deeply personal kind of rejection that cuts differently.
📩 The Email That Broke My Heart
Later, we received an email from her with strict boundaries: no phone calls, no texts, no letters, no asking other family members to deliver messages — what she called “needling.” Even when it was just a message we truly needed to pass along, we were told not to.
She added that communication was only permitted in the case of a medical emergency or something related to car maintenance — which no longer applied to us.
And that was it. Our parental estrangement became painfully official.
💔 Coping With Estrangement
The emotional toll was deep and overwhelming:
Panic. Anxiety. Anger. Disappointment.
Grief. Physical illness.
Stress that strained our marriage and relationships with our other adult children.
Feelings of betrayal, loneliness, abandonment, and powerlessness.
It was hard for us as parents to understand. She still spoke to others in the family. But when it came to my husband and me — there was a complete wall. We became estranged parents, not just estranged from a child, but shut out while others still had access. That added a layer of confusion, pain, and disconnection that felt especially isolating. It made me question everything — my intentions, my words, even my worth as a mother.
I cried for months. The anxiety triggered seizures. My health declined. I removed photos and keepsakes because they brought too much pain. I stopped saying her name.
But I never stopped praying.
🙏 A Mother's Prayer in the Wilderness
Every day, I pray for her. I pray for healing — hers and mine.I pray for reconciliation.I pray that God will surround her with grace and protection.I pray that if she ever decides to reach out again, our hearts will be ready.And I pray that I will continue to live with love and hope, even in her silence.
Hope is hard.
And keeping my heart open to her — after so much pain — is even harder.You would think it would be easy, because she is my child.But I can tell you — it is not easy at all.
Do I still get angry? Yes.
Do I still feel despair? Yes
.But I walk on.I have even decided to do the Mrs. Tennessee America pageant again next year.I am working on another pageant, continuing to do things for myself and to help others.I started another business.Slowly but surely, we are weathering the storm,and we are grateful to God for continually taking us through it.
It’s a daily surrender. I cry out to God for strength.I beg for the grace to stay soft, even when everything in me wants to harden.I ask for divine help to keep doing the two things that feel impossible:Holding on to hope, and keeping my heart open.
Because without God, I can’t do either.I desperately need His help and guidance to walk this road.
This is the spiritual ache of Christian parents dealing with estrangement — learning how to keep loving someone while respecting their boundaries, learning how to let God hold what we cannot fix.
✍️ Why I Write — And Why You’re Here
Strangely Estranged is not just a personal journal — it’s a faith-based blog for estranged parents, a place to cry, to pray, and to heal. I blog because I need to express myself. I blog because I will not be ashamed of my story. I blog because I know someone else is out there, hurting, wondering if they’re the only one.
You’re not.
You’re not alone.You’re not unlovable.You’re not a failure.You are still a good parent.You are still held by a faithful God.
📜 Free Healing Resource: Letters I Never Sent
I created a 7-day healing journal for estranged parents called Letters I Never Sent — a place to write the words too painful to say out loud.
Inside, you’ll find gentle prompts like:
“If You Only Knew...”
“A Letter to the Future Me”
“What I Wish You'd Say to Me”
It’s my free gift to you, in exchange for subscribing to the blog.Just go to the homepage and scroll to the bottom of the Welcome message. You'll see the download button there.
Thank you for reading.Thank you for walking this hard road with faith and courage.And thank you for allowing me to share my heart with you.
With grace and hope,
Crystal
Remember that you are loved and enough. Let us hear from you, we want to know your story!