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A New Wineskin: When God Calls Us to Change

  • Writer: Crystal McDaniel
    Crystal McDaniel
  • Nov 3, 2025
  • 4 min read
“Neither do people pour new wine into old wineskins.If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined.No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved.”— Matthew 9:17 (NIV)

Is God Calling Us to Change?


If you’re walking through estrangement, you already know what it means to be broken open. You’ve felt the tearing, the stretching, and the ache of something that once felt full—now emptied.


But what if that emptiness is actually God making room for something new?

Sometimes, we ask God for change—for healing, for restoration, for peace—and He answers.Just not in the way we imagined.


Because to receive new wine, the old wineskin must go.And sometimes that “wineskin” is our perspective, our pride, or even our idea of how relationships should look.


Are Estranged Mothers Part of a “New Thing”?


I believe so.


Estrangement has called me into a greater change—a transformation I never expected. It has reshaped my heart, softened my edges, and realigned my spirit with God’s.

God is doing a great work in my life, in Nelson’s life, and in the way we see everything.


Through pain, confusion, and tears, He has been building something that could never have existed in the old version of me.


He is birthing a new thing—a community of mothers who know what it means to cling to Him when everything else feels lost.We are learning that His “no contact” seasons are sometimes His holy rewiring of our hearts.


Am I Still Growing? Yes.


Is the estrangement and no contact still painful? Yes.Estrangement is humbling at best—especially when you are listening to God.


The regret, remorse, and pain drive you to your knees.Now that my eyes have been opened much more, I can see God’s hand at work within all of this—changing the way I live, the way I think, and the way I want to walk in this world.


When I started this blog, I was hurt and angry, discouraged and defeated. I kept taking it to God. The grief was great, and I was so very heartbroken.What I have found is that there is great power in prayer—and in repentance, forgiveness, and remorse. Especially when you cry out to God.


I have apologized to my adult children—the ones who are speaking to me.I listen to them tell me what hurt them, and it hurts so much to hear it.However, I process it and take a look at the truth God is revealing to me.


I was a good mother. There was no physical abuse, drugs, alcohol, or sexual abuse.Yet I was unaware that I made decisions from old wounds that spilled their goop into my life.I thought I was parenting and protecting my children.In truth, I was using my fear to drive my decisions.


If only I could go back in time and talk to the past Crystal.I can’t.But what I can do is learn and grow.


What I did then, I would not do now—and I’m thankful to God for that change.

Now, when my adult children tell me how they feel, I take time to process what they’ve said.Then I let them know I heard them. I tell them I’m sorry—for their pain, and for the feeling that I wouldn’t listen.

We all need to be heard. We all need to know that we count.

The estrangement road is hard—and it is not for the weak.I have found that God calls many, but the ones who listen and answer are few.I pray daily for them all.


When Healing Hurts


Let’s be honest—healing isn’t soft or pretty.If you ask God to heal you, bless you, or change you, He will—but in His way.And His way often involves breaking the old before He rebuilds the new.


To change your heart, He may have to break your heart.To open your eyes, He may have to close a door.To draw you closer, He may have to strip away the things that once defined you.


That’s what happened to me.What I thought was “up” turned out to be “down,” and what I thought was “down” turned out to be “up.”Apparently, yes—it did take something drastic for me to truly surrender.


Whatever It Takes


Here’s what I’ve learned:When God sets out to heal you, He’ll use whatever it takes to bring you closer to Him.


He will not waste your pain.He will not ignore your tears.And He will not let your story end in bitterness.


Every moment of breaking is leading to a greater becoming.Every tear is watering the soil for something new to grow.And every estranged mother who chooses to trust Him in the dark is part of a new wineskin—a new vessel—for His glory.


A Closing Prayer


Father, give us the courage to become new wineskins.To release what was, and receive what is yet to come.Use whatever it takes to make us more like You.Even when it hurts, remind us that You are the God who restores, renews, and redeems.


In Jesus’ Name, Amen.


 
 
 

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