Estrangement and Resilience: When the Going Gets Tough, the Tough Go to ItalyBlog Post:

Estrangement is a word that carries so much weight, yet often floats around in whispers. For many of us, it’s a quiet grief we carry in silence—one that doesn’t get casseroles or sympathy cards. It’s complicated, it’s painful, and it’s real.

When I became estranged from one of my adult daughters, my world shifted. Everything that once felt solid became a question mark. I found myself sifting through memories, wondering what I missed, what I misunderstood, and where it all went wrong.

Let me be clear—this is not the full story. It’s a glimpse. Just a sliver of a much deeper journey I’ll continue to share on this blog and across my social platforms. My husband and I love all of our children deeply. We did our best as parents, though we made our fair share of mistakes. We were not abusive. But we didn’t always listen as well as we should have.

I live with Complex PTSD, along with several medical challenges that affect my daily life. These have shaped how I show up in the world, and inevitably, how I showed up as a parent. I wish I had known then what I know now. But healing isn’t about rewriting the past—it’s about owning it, growing from it, and doing better moving forward.

Still, there was love. So much love. And sometimes, even love isn't enough to hold it all together.

That’s where healing begins.

Through family therapy, self-reflection, and a lot of prayer, I’ve learned that healing doesn’t look like perfection—it looks like growth. It looks like honoring someone’s boundaries even when they hurt. It looks like showing up for the children who are in your life while holding space for the one who isn’t. It looks like admitting, I didn’t understand before, but I’m trying to now.

And sometimes—just sometimes—healing looks like going to Italy.

I love to learn. And this trip? It’s so much more than a performance schedule. I’m headed to Italy to sing alongside a group of my singer friends, and I know I’ll make some new friends, too. I’ll be surrounded by like-minded people, immersed in other languages, cultures, and thought processes. For two whole weeks, I’ll have my own place, a car, and my service dog Mr. Big will be right by my side.

We fly out in about 48 hours—ATL to JFK to Milan (MXP). From there, we’re off on an adventure! I’ll be performing in four different concerts and working on more opera this time around. Honestly, I’m much more excited than nervous this time. I’ll even be visiting beautiful Lake Como. (Yes, I packed my walking shoes and my heart wide open.)

What makes this even more tender is that my estranged daughter and I once shared a deep love of travel and new experiences. We used to talk about all the places we wanted to see together—Italy was high on that list. She would have loved this trip. I wish she could be with me, not just for the sights, but for the laughter, the little discoveries, the joy of it all.

Right now, I have no idea what she’s doing—other than the occasional parking ticket that still shows up in our mailbox. We send them along to her dad, who she still speaks to. We don’t. And we don’t take care of her things anymore. That boundary was painful to set, but necessary.

So when the going gets tough? Sometimes the tough go to therapy. Sometimes the tough cry into their pillow. And yes—sometimes, the tough go to Italy.

💥 And speaking of brave new steps...I’ve just been invited to be a guest on a powerful TikTok channel called "Straight Talk," which focuses on real, raw conversations about estrangement. It’s a huge honor!

But here’s the catch: I need 1,000 followers on TikTok to go LIVE with them (TikTok rules... eye roll 🙄).

So if you’re reading this, and you want to support me—👉 Please hop over to @strangelyestranged on TikTok and hit that follow button.

I’m pouring my heart into content that helps others feel seen, understood, and encouraged. Let’s grow this healing space together—and get me on that show!

I’ll be taking you along with me through photos, stories, and reflections. Because no matter where you are in your estrangement journey—newly walking through it, deep in the thick of it, or clawing your way toward healing—I want you to know you’re not alone.

Please follow me on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook, and visit the blog regularly for more.

We heal better together.–

Crystal 💛

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